Hello all,
My goodness its been a while since I last assaulted your minds with my thoughts! I have two main functions in mind for this little bloglette. The first is to remind you all that my good friend Jeremy and I have 2 podcasts out (and a pilot). These can be found here:
Westwood & Kerr Solve Life Pilot Episode: http://www.archive.org/
Westwood & Kerr Solve Life Episode 1: http://www.archive.org/
Westwood & Kerr Solve Life Episode 2: http://www.archive.org/
I assure you that episode three will be forthcoming momentarily, so have no fear!
The second function is far more subtle. As I cast my eyes through the dusty windows of my office, and as the sun rises in the East over the bustling hub that is Bellville, I look to the mountains in the distance. How lovely they are, resplendent in their morning grandeur. Shards of light cut strips into the shadows that play along their contours, feelings of adventure stretch across the landscape and call out to me, and the great peaks assert their dislike of the surrounding low-lying areas by straining up, up and up towards... well, towards the clouds.
Ever since five youthful water molecules decided that they would explore further the long held belief, “If God had meant us to fly, he would have given us the capability of getting quite hot and then suddenly and inexplicably vaporizing”, it has been the trend of small ponds and spilt slush puppies to break free from their earthly bonds and give up their physical well-being for a far more ethereal aesthetic. This became incredibly popular all over the world, and even though it started as a protest against the oppression of gravity and the lack of freedom, it soon became popular for all the molecules decided to hang about in the air together. Clouds are just the product of a badly organized revolution.
One of the original five, Ralph, saw this as an opportunity for success, and slowly started to gather himself some friends from other clouds. His followers grew slowly at first and then, on a chance trip over some Amazonian forests, they increased dramatically. Ralph appointed generals to manage the various regiments in his, now substantial, cloud army. They would send out scout parties in order to plot their course. Most of the scouts never came back, but at least they could quickly triangulate the wind direction as they slowly drifted away. Soon Ralph had so much power he decided to make himself king.
With his kingship he introduced a few new policies, such as the cryogenic freezing of older members of the community, and extreme power generation. To be honest, the reaction was mixed. When the four other founding revolutionaries discovered that Ralph had given up his ideals for authority and begun his reign, they decided to plummet back to earth, taking some of their friends with them.
And this is still the situation we have today. Ralph has to continually raise up new recruits to join him in his airy kingdom, as they tend to get sick of him ordering everyone around after a while. He sometimes lashes out when they need to discharge their capacitors, and frequent trips have to be made to drop all their pensioners off at the poles. After having a nasty scrape with a cactus in the Sahara Green Plains, Ralph vowed never to return there again. And as for the recent volcanic-ash intruder, Ralph sees it as no threat to his imperial might!
In short, those pretty pictures showing the water cycle which you learnt in primary school leave out the bitter and sordid past which lead to its creation, as well as the tyranny under which it currently resides. Which side will you choose? Well, you can either join the cheers of "All hail King Ralph!", or tell him to fog off..
Toodle-pip,
andrewthekerr
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