Hello dear readers! My humblest apologies for the delay in writing, and I hope to make it up to you all over the course of this year. So, into the fray we go!
The subject of today’s blog is free-range eggs.
These eggs have been the ticket to guilt-free breakfasts since they introduced the concept. “Chickens haven’t been running around the farmyard, being chased by a jovial sheepdog and happily gathering grain from the farmer’s daughter?! This is an outrage!” exclaimed us all. For had we been mindful of battery chickens pumping out eggs like a dodgy cement-mixer, our morning meals may have been somewhat tainted.
And so now we have the option. Grain-fed or Free-range (Or Jumbo!? I don’t know what this implies, other than there are some chickens on the farm who have decided that their produce is slightly more extraordinary than that of the others, and they demand the recognition. Well, it’s either that or some seriously big chickens trying to fit in. I don’t trust the Jumbo-style. It makes me think of elephants, and I don’t like thinking I’m eating elephants). We all feel much better by choosing the Free-range boxes. “Darling, did you buy the Free-range eggs today?”
“Why yes, darling, I did.”
“Good show! None of those AWFUL grain-fed ones. I can’t stand cruelty to animals! Pass the foie gras...”
So that’s all fine, we all like to buy free-range because then we are buying happy eggs from happy chickens. And there’s nothing better than a happy chicken. Apparently studies show that the free-range eggs are also more nutritious than other eggs, so there is even more to crow about. But I still have an issue with these eggs. One that was brought to my attention by my brother only four days ago. One that makes me question modern society and all that has come to pass. History itself shakes in the processing of this dilemma. Humanity quivers and the great minds collapse into confusion and dysentery. What is the question, you wonder? It is a simple one, yet still unanswered:
Why are free-range eggs always covered in bits of poo?
Ok, we get it, they are all organic and stuff (and by talking about organic produce the word ‘poo’ is part and parcel with agriculture) but do we need to know that as we tentatively turn the egg so that when it cracks on the edge of the frying pan no flecks of ‘organic’ make it into the omelette? What’s happening at the Chicken Produce Cleanification & Quality department? Some bright spark sitting there saying, “Hold on! This one’s still got some poo on it! Should I ask Mr. Griffiths whether or not I should send it through? You know what, it’s probably fine. They’ll just think the poo is chocolate or something.” It’s not chocolate! We know it’s poo! I certainly hope it’s not price by weight, because there is no way I’m paying for extra poo.
Even though I have written all this, I will still eat free-range eggs. It seems sad that in my efforts to support the well-being of chickens all around the country, I am forced to put up with their crap. But I guess since we eat these delicious fowls, it’s a small way for the chickens to get even..
Toodle-pip,
andrewiconkerr
p.s. email me ideas for what you want blogged about @ andrew@kerr.za.net
No comments:
Post a Comment