I was sitting somewhere irrelevant the other day, minding my own business (that I started since the recession), and suddenly a thought occurred me. Before I indulge your inquisitiveness with elaborating on what this thought might have been, I need to give you some background to my personality.
I am a quasi-nerd. I enjoy nerds-only jokes, I am well acquainted enough with a computer to class myself as a nerd, and I have Lord of the Rings posters on my wall. In this day and age it is quite cool to be geeky, and I refuse point-blank to bow down to what society says is cool, even if I am within that bracket. So now you know why I am only quasi, and not a full-blown, self-proclaimed nerdzor. With all that in mind, I return to the issue at hand.
We've all seen the epic reenactment of Tolkien's masterpiece, 'The Lord Of The Rings', and many of us will have read and viewed the latest in popular books-turned-films that are the Harry Potter movies. Can you still not see where I am heading with this? Let me put you out of your misery, and not drag this incessantly long introduction for any longer. (This is where the nerd in me scrambles to the fore, and bats the normal person aside)
I want to see the fight between Albus Dumbledore and Gandalf the Grey. I mean, come on! Two great and powerful wizards, battling it out for honour and who can perform the most epic card tricks.
When you sit down and analyse the situation, were it to occur, there are various scenarios that may take place. Firstly, you know it's going to be a fair fight. There will be no beard-tugging or ball-grabbing going on because these guys have principles.
Secondly, the fight could end up being location dependent. In other words, Gandalf would strive in an outdoors location with no public toilets nearby or any fast food taverns. Dumbles on the other hand has to fight predominantly in a school to be of any use.
Thirdly, if you have seen all of the aforementioned movies you will know that when it comes to actual spell-casting, Gandalf seems to be a little shy. Often we see him say some words and instantly switch on all the LEDs at the top of his staff, but not really anything more than that. Dumbledore however seems to have endless ability to conjure up fireballs and swirling flames.
However, if the situation arose in which they were to be fighting in close proximity, Gandalf would be the clear victor. He has plenty of experience with a sword, and even if he dropped his sword whilst trying to be intense for the camera, it's still a wand vs staff battle. I don't now if you've seen one of those before, so I went out and experimented with two old men. Staff wins, hands down..
So there we are. Those are my views on how the most epic of all fantasy fights would go down. Unfortunately I don't think they will ever film this epic battle, and that is a sad reality. The one thing I do know is that when I'm their age...I want a beard.
Toodle-pip,
andrewiconkerr
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